douglaskoke.com - journal

Halloweenie 2009

Mon, 2 Nov 2009 21:16:49 UTC

Just added a photo gallery from my big Halloween outing this year. As it turns out, in addition to being unspeakably beautiful and funny and smart and lovable, my girlfriend Melissa is also a bit of a nerd. She not only agreed to, but was super enthused about rocking a Star Wars theme for Halloween. I made two brand new stormtrooper costumes this year for my friend Tim and I, and Melissa was *amazing* as Leia. Best Halloween EVER.

Plum Creek Children's Ministries -- Pt. III

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 17:40:29 UTC

Took this site live last week. Turned out really nice, I think. Many thanks to Tom Benway for setting up the CMS backend.

Snowday! (sort of)

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 17:20:26 UTC

I'm snowed in and working from home today, so I decided to take some quick snapshots.

Back In The Saddle

Tue, 28 Jul 2009 04:28:54 UTC

Added some new work to the design section, finally: a slew of Joomla templates, and a Flash site for kids. Good times!

Michael Jackson Jokes, or, Why Doug Will Roast In Hell

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 01:59:54 UTC

God forgive me, I couldn't help myself. My facebook updates from today:

Newsflash: Oh no! Where will America turn now for its eccentric pedophiles and pilled-up generational hair icons?

Newsflash: MJ's status updated to "freakish white woman". Stay tuned.

Newsflash: Even in the grips of cardiac arrest, 50-year-old Jackson was quotes as saying, "But I still feel like a little boy!', while leering from the gurney towards the pediatric ward.

Newsflash: Jackson defiant, vows he will continue world tour, but will do so as "Thriller" zombie.

Newsflash: MJ's death confirmed: swallowing gallons of high-cholesterol pre-teen jizz is apparently fatal.

Newsflash: MJ's casket to be immortalized in log ride at Neverland Ranch.

Newsflash: Oddly, Anderson Cooper will broadcasting latest MJ developments live, from a merry-go-round.

Newsflash: Jackson is dead at 50. His nose? Only 18. Affidavits say most of his ass was 7 or 8.

Newsflash: First McMahon. Then Fawcett. Now Jackson. Emerging plot to destroy America's irrelevant celebrities?

Newsflash: In a loving tribute, attending UCLA surgeon only wears one glove.

Newsflash: The real tragedy? Jackson was unable to release final single, "I Touched Their Junk and Got Away With It!"

A-hee-hee! Shu-mon!

Newsflash: In a fitting memorial, Hasbro Toys announces it will commemorate the King Of Pop with a series of anotomically-correct courtroom dolls. Celebrate the moon-walking legend by showing mommy where he touched you!

Pre-Mother's Day Preemptive Rant

Fri, 8 May 2009 04:53:55 UTC

This Mother's day, I'd like to thank my Mom for giving me baby-fine hair, a pathological need for independence that poisons 98% of my romantic relationships, a nearly crippling fear of success, and an apparent middle-age onset of lactose intolerance. Thanks, lady! You da bestest Mommy evew! :)

The Beautiful People.

Thu, 7 May 2009 04:27:02 UTC

Regrettably, I just caught the last 5 minutes of "Make Me A Supermodel".

Are you kidding me? Crying?

CRYING?!?

"We're sorry, Shilo Destiny London Douchenozzle Allegra. But you're just not obscenely good-looking enough. You're only profanely good-looking. Perhaps offensively good-looking. But buck up. Try and pick up the pieces. We know it's rough, but you're just going to have to make due with being absurdly compensated for walking and pouting on a national basis. We apologize, but you're just not galactically hot. Of course, you're still free to get rich doing absolutely fucking nothing but having recessive genes, but you'll have to do so on a human, non-super level."

Eat. Shit.

Moments like these actually make me look forward to our eventual collapse and enslavement by robots.

Sit, Ubu, Sit.

Wed, 6 May 2009 05:20:08 UTC

Lola poses some stiff competition in the cuteness category, but my sister's new dog, Ubu, is pretty friggin' adorable too. We all had good times at the park today.

It Was A Disco, But Not For Lola

Tue, 5 May 2009 06:49:16 UTC

I get to doggie-sit my friend Mana's English bulldog, Lola, this week. How effing cute is she?

Nothing So Wrong This Can't Fix

Mon, 20 Apr 2009 23:22:50 UTC

Don't you worry your pretty little head. Cookie gonna' make everything all right.