douglaskoke.com

This Mother's day, I'd like to thank my Mom for giving me baby-fine hair, a pathological need for independence that poisons 98% of my romantic relationships, a nearly crippling fear of success, and an apparent middle-age onset of lactose intolerance. Thanks, lady! You da bestest Mommy evew! :)

Regrettably, I just caught the last 5 minutes of "Make Me A Supermodel".

Are you kidding me? Crying?

CRYING?!?

"We're sorry, Shilo Destiny London Douchenozzle Allegra. But you're just not obscenely good-looking enough. You're only profanely good-looking. Perhaps offensively good-looking. But buck up. Try and pick up the pieces. We know it's rough, but you're just going to have to make due with being absurdly compensated for walking and pouting on a national basis. We apologize, but you're just not galactically hot. Of course, you're still free to get rich doing absolutely fucking nothing but having recessive genes, but you'll have to do so on a human, non-super level."

Eat. Shit.

Moments like these actually make me look forward to our eventual collapse and enslavement by robots.

Lola poses some stiff competition in the cuteness category, but my sister's new dog, Ubu, is pretty friggin' adorable too. We all had good times at the park today.

I get to doggie-sit my friend Mana's English bulldog, Lola, this week. How effing cute is she?

Don't you worry your pretty little head. Cookie gonna' make everything all right.