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Useful Buttons Facebook Should Consider Including On Their Interface:

Add Estranged Ex-Girlfriend To List Of  Stalking Victims

Add Mildly Tolerable Coworker Who Has Super-Hot Friends I Want To Hook Up With

Submit To Stilted, Disengenuine Overture From Boss Trying To Be "Hip"

Endear Yourself To Shitty Relative You Suspect Might Be Wealthy And Elderly And/Or In Poor Health

Shamefully Face That Girl You Prematurely Ejaculated With In High School

Add Fellow Misanthrope For Mutual Neglect

Force Former Rival To Look At Picture Of New Trophy Wife-- Yeah, That's Right Pal, I'm HITTIN' THAT SHIT

Insinuate Yourself Into Mortal Enemy's Life So You Can Architect Their Utter Destruction

Begrudgingly Accept Distant, Perfunctory Acquaintance Who I Really Didn't Think Would Give A Shit, But Didn't Want To Offend

Take On Yet One More Online Relationship So You Can Avoid Risking Real Live Intimacy With Another Adult, You Fucking Coward

Take Me Back! I'll Change! Things Will Be Different This Time!

Bludgeon These Hopeless Losers With Unbearably Arrogant Tales Of My Incomprehensible Personal Success

Sorry, But You Are ... ????

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